The Real Griffin

slimy people & boycotts

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 09:46:22 -0500

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

- Tennessee Williams

Note: Because of the subject matter, I’m cross-publishing this on my personal blog as well as my company blog. My apologies to subscribers of both.

Over the past few years I’ve become more and more rigid in how I live and do business. I’ve slowly adopted certain core values and have drawn a hard line when it comes to adhering to them. By doing that, I’m making what I value, and don’t value, explicit. Sometimes it’s difficult to do and I miss out on certain things. I understand that I may miss out one some good, but I also avoid what I consider bad.

People sometimes like to twist that around and make it seem like they have no choice. It’s easy to forget that we have an abundance of choices in life, but almost all come with sacrifice. Often we take the presence of sacrifice as having no choice at all when, in fact, what we have have is a tough decision. You could start a company, write a book or change careers. Unfortunately, that usually means watching less TV, getting a little less sleep or going out to the bars less. It’s still a choice, just a difficult one.

One of my core values I have is ‘don’t interact with slimy people’. What do I mean by slimy people? I mean people who talk to you about ideas and, afterwards, you think to yourself ‘that’s just….slimy’. Take these examples of things I’ve been told over the past 12 months:

“Once we get them on our platform, we make it so tough for them to get out that they’ll never leave. We’ll get paid every month.”

“We’ll just package up our services on top of outsourced labor, tack on a healthy margin, and boom, we’ll be golden. The clients will never know.”

When it comes to friends and business relationships, it’s easy to avoid these types of people. You just avoid them. Sounds simple, but as you’ll see, it’s not always easy to avoid these types of people without sacrifice. When you’re honest with yourself, it’s easy to see who adds to your life and who subtracts from it.

However, ‘slimy people’ is not just limited actual people. It also applies to companies. So, several months ago, I started to boycott companies . It all started with Fox News and the fallout from the Acorn footage. Since then, I’ve actively avoid any and all things Fox. That means no Family Guy & Simpsons. Do I miss those shows? Sure, but I feel better know that I’m not supporting Fox and it’s advertisers.

Next up is Gawker media. About 9 months ago, I stopped reading Deadspin. Their coverage evolved into glorified frat boy stories. Then, when the news of Gizmodo & the iPhone prototype broke, I thought it was sketchy, but didn’t really mind that much. Shady? Yes. Stupid? Yes. Also, I was already migrating towards Engadget for my gadget coverage anyway.

However, when they decided to publish the poor guys name who lost the phone, that was over the line. Not only that, but they published his photos, last name and Facebook snapshots. Now, there was simply no reason for this. If they wanted to throw someone under the bus, the could have named who sold them the phone. To go after the guy who did nothing wrong and who is probably freaking out was out of line. Slimy. Buh-bye Gawker Media and it’s sites. That includes Lifehacker, historically one of my favorite blogs.

Some other boycotts include:

Facebook - I’ve already written about how Facebook is rubbing me the wrong way.

Sea World - Read this article about their killer whales. Pay special attention to their “acquisition” strategies. Tell me if you would still pay money to see their show.

Nestle - An extremely old boycott, but still relevant.

This might all sound sanctimonious and pompous, but I assure you, it’s not. Every person has to draw their own line. The point isn’t to rally around me and boycott Gawker. It’s to stimulate you to reflect on your own life. Start to identify things that you almost speak out against, but you historically have not. This could be friends, clients or companies. Whatever. The path to a happier, more fulfilling life is to remove any sort of waste or anything that doesn’t add to your life in a positive way. I’m challenging you to look at your life with a critical eye. Start making tough decisions to sacrifice some small good-ness in favor of the greater good in your life and your business.

You’ll be much happier and more successful in the long run.

slimy people & boycotts

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 12:44:15 -0500

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

- Tennessee Williams

Note: Because of the subject matter, I’m cross-publishing this on my personal blog as well as my company blog. My apologies to subscribers of both.

“Once we get them on our platform, we make it so tough for them to get out that they’ll never leave. We’ll get paid every month.”

“We’ll just package up our services on top of outsourced labor, tack on a healthy margin, and boom, we’ll be golden. The clients will never know.”

Some other boycotts include:

Facebook - I’ve already written about how Facebook is rubbing me the wrong way.

Sea World - Read this article about their killer whales. Pay special attention to their “acquisition” strategies. Tell me if you would still pay money to see their show.

Nestle - An extremely old boycott, but still relevant.

This might all sound sanctimonious and pompous, but I assure you, it’s not. Every person has to draw their own line. The point isn’t to rally around me and boycott Gawker. It’s to stimulate you to reflect on your own life. Start to identify things that you almost speak out against, but you’ve historically have not. This could be friends, clients or companies. Whatever. The path to a happier, more fulfilling life is to remove any sort of waste or anything that doesn’t add to your life in a positive way. I’m challenging you to look at your life with a critical eye. Start making tough decisions to sacrifice some small good-ness in favor of the greater good in your life and your business.

You’ll be much happier and more successful in the long run.

individual vs. institution

Sat, 12 Jun 2010 17:13:50 -0500

While recently reading an article about Wikileaks, I came across this piece of wisdom about the founder:

He had come to understand the defining human struggle not as left versus right, or faith versus reason, but as individual versus institution.

I can’t believe how succinct this since sentence is, yet it embodies the transformation I have gone through for the past 3-5 years.

As the past few years have gone by, I’ve found myself steadily withdrawing from things considered ‘the american dream’. I’ve started down the minimalist path with my possessions, really placing a premium on buying experiences vs. buying items. I’ve scuttled friends after realizing that they weren’t friends at all, but rather immature drags on my life. I can’t remember the last time I bought a piece of clothing. In fact, I can remember almost 4 times that I’ve given away 6-12 items in the past few years. I eat less meat, I don’t drink pop, and I’ve given up fried foods. Very little TV and none of it live. It seems like as each month passes, I scuttle more and more “traditionally” accepted facets of life.

And I couldn’t be happier.

As I have removed less and less, I’ve noticed a considerable decrease in things weighing me down ( in addition to a slimming waistline ) and an increase in things I value: more time, more amazing experiences and more freedom.

Unfortunately, everywhere I turn, there’s someone else commenting on what I should be doing because it’s “normal”. What I’ve found is that these normal things are really constructs of the marketing and sales departments of large corporations. From personal finance decisions to spending / consumerism to what constitutes love between two people. Doesn’t it seem ironic that happiness is foisted upon us as a product of spending money / taking on debt? Doesn’t that seem strange?

I’m at the point in my life where watch where the majority of people will end up on….and proceed to the opposite direction. To me it’s as simple as following the chain of logic: Humans are notorious for not understanding the consequences of complex systems. The majority of people will flock to cheap connivence. Corporations will market and service that industry. Thus, I and skeptical of any and all marketing and anything that the majority of people deem “common sense” or “a no brainer”.

commenting, not creating

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 22:03:47 -0500

Commentary. It’s our #1 export now. Everyone has an opinion about something. Unfortunately, none of it means anything. Something happens. Then people comment on what they think will happen, what could happen and what something could mean in the future. It’s all conjecture. In other words: it’s useless. All of this expert analysis doesn’t, you know, actually affect what will or will not happen. So stop listening to it. In fact, you’ll find that by taking a more critical eye towards the types of information streams you open yourself up to, you’ll more and more empty, vapid information. All fluff, no facts. In particular, look at your tv watching, you’ll realize that most things on tv are useless. They just don’t mean anything.

Take ESPN. Watch any show with people giving their analysis about the latest sports stories. After they’re done, ask yourself, has anything really changed? Will tonights commentary about tomorrows game really affect the outcome? Empty.

Not to belabor the point, but this lack of information of substance has accelerated my withdrawal from social networks. It was precipitated by one looming, overriding pattern:
Most of the information out there is just comments on the commenters.
Not many people out there are actually creating new and information content. It’s just vapid ‘likes’ or ‘retweets’. I find it incredibly boring and ultimately not worth my time.

social media without social

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 20:27:27 -0500

as i discussed in my last post, i deleted my facebook account not to long ago. i’ve reduced the people i follow on twitter to a very small trickle. i also participated in the social media purging day back in march. i was always reluctant to jump into social networking. now i think my reservations are becoming more of a reality.

Something always struck me as hollow about social networks. they make it very easy to create links with people where such links didn’t exist. it’s also supposed to make existing links stronger. while the latter could be true, what’s the value on the former? on facebook, for me, i ended up talking to the same 12-15 people i have been talking to for years. the only difference was that i had all this other noise in my life. status updates from old high school classmates, requests to pet my old grade school deskmates unicorn, etc… just more noise that I need to filter out.

if you have a large collection of newly formed, loosely connected links, there’s probably a reason why there has been no link in the past. you probably just don’t have much in common with these people. so that’s the value in lumping in the people you have a connection with with people you don’t really have one with?

to me, there’s only downsides. first, when you lump everyone together, you end up with a sort of cocktail party atmosphere where no one is themselves, just making small talk. you start to think more about the information you share and how it will be taken by various people. you’re more reserved. as a result you have this big social network that you can’t share anything with.

secondly, the network and what it represents starts to become more and more important in your life. you just have to update your status, share the latest thing you saw and review this nights dinner. that is, until a sobering thought enters your head: who cares? when deciding what you’re going to say in your review becomes more of a focal point than actually enjoying your meal, you’ve lost your way.

recently i read a great article about quitting facebook. for me, this paragraph, is particularly sobering:

In the end, what does all this online, arms-length self-promotion ultimately provide? Perhaps it’s merely one component of the pursuit to alleviate some of the blackness encountered in the existential vacuum of modern life. As Schopenhauer once projected, modern humans may be doomed to eternally vacillate between distress and boredom. For the vast majority of people experiencing the fragmented, fast-paced modern world of 2008, a Sunday pause at the end of a hectic week may cause them to become all too aware of the lack of content in their lives. So we update our online profiles and tell ourselves that we are reaching out.

to me, it seems like there’s a desire for some people to become an ‘influencer’ to swaths of random people. crazy. from my pov, that’s pretty narcissistic. but, i guess, it’s the wave of the future. everyone wants to be a brand.

i want to have a smaller number of quality relationships in my life, not increase the amount of transient relationships.

goodbye facebook

Thu, 27 May 2010 22:00:29 -0500

this weekend i did something that i’ve been slowly inched towards for the past few months: i deleted my facebook account. this started several months ago by slashing my friends from 200 to 100 to under 70. when i originally signed up, i made two rules: only personal friends would be allowed ( no biz contacts ) and only people i’ve met in person.

what i found out was that those rules weren’t enough. soon i got leeched in to friending old grade school classmates, then my gfs friends and then old college friends. finally, the dam broke with my first hs friend. since my hs was very small ( under 400 people total ), everyone knew everyone else. so one friend quickly morphed into 70. suddenly, i’m pulled back into the old, uncomfortable world of tenuous relationships that i thought i left behind over the years. you have to watch what you say because sally might see it, etc…

what started as a chance to make communicating with family and friends easier transformed into a virtual dinner party, where everyone exchanges vacuous small talk. plus, frankly, there’s a reason why i still only talked to the same two dozen or so people on facebook that i do in real life: they’re my friends and we have stuff in common. so i’m reducing the noise in my life and focusing on what’s actually important.

not mentioned above is all of the crappy ways facebook is currently operating. that was just icing on the cake. i’ve written about how facebook is trampling all over peoples privacy. yes, you can turn most of it off. that doesn’t change the fact that it’s just a slimy way to act.

faux 'going green'

Sat, 22 May 2010 16:05:57 -0500

it seems like you can’t go anywhere today without someone mentioning ‘going green’ as a way to help the environment. while it’s an admirable attempt, most peoples strategies are similar to ordering a diet coke at mcdonalds because they’re on a diet. in the end, you’re still at mcdonalds.

yes, recycling your garbage is good. yes, buying stuff with less packaging is good. but you know what’s better? buying less shit. want to throw away less packaging? want to reduce the amount of garbage you throw away? stop buying useless crap. dvds, cds, books, clothes, electronics, furniture, magazines. just stop. if you really want something like that, wait 30 days. if you still want it, buy it. more often than not, you’ll find yourself forgetting about it in the first place.

many of the going green initiatives are simply ways to charge you a bit more for a bit a bit less. instead of car pooling, go for a walk. instead of buying a new desk, look for one at a garage sale or antique store. instead of buying new books, borrow them from a library or book swapping web site.

if you’re serious about going green, commit to it. seriously reduce, don’t just fake it by buying things with reduced packaging.

form over function

Wed, 19 May 2010 12:32:59 -0500

I often focus on the function of something rather than the pretense of ‘what’s appropriate’. I simply can’t stand rationalizations where the reasoning is ‘that’s the way we’ve always done it.’ Usually, they are artificial constraints places on people to control them in some way. Either to establish some arbitrary pecking order or to quickly place someone into a established stereotype. Don’t wear white after labor day, dress for the job you want, a wedding is for the parents, etc…

For example, take mens dress shirts. Most men have worn shirts that come with two small buttons on the collar. Those actually come from english gentlemen who, while playing polo, needed a way for their collars to stay down. Why do we still need them?

Over the years, these traditions get passed down and eventually become the standard, with little regard to if they actually make sense. Growing up, I’ve always had this inner voice questioning every little thing if it didn’t make sense to me. As I’ve flowed more and more into minimalism, this conflict has been placed in the center of my life. Namely, can I justify everything in my life ( possessions, people, events, etc… ) by focusing on the value that it provides, as opposed to some culturally imposed guilt?